Events, people, and things can hold us in places we do not always want to be. Sometimes, these memories can be like a lifeline, keeping us grounded.
Other times, they can be like a rope, following us around. Memories can keep us bound to places, things, or people we otherwise would move on from.
I remember when my first adult memory locked me in place. It was paralyzing and overwhelming. I remember the smell and what I was wearing. I remember the location. And of course, I remember the feeling. I will spare you the details since it was not a pleasant one. I will tell you this, that memory had a hell of a tether. It followed me around for decades as a reminder of all the things I wanted to forget and simultaneously needed to always remember.
I often wondered if it was the memory that held on to me or if I held on to the memory. I guess we will never truly know. About three years ago, that locked-in memory—the one that hurt the most, the one I rarely shared and even less often allowed myself to think about—finally loosened its grip on my heart. I was happy to be delivered from the pain.
Now that this freedom runs free in my mind, I can remember other associated things. I can recall the circumstances as learning lessons. I can remember the people, places, and things involved without strife. I have since learned that it wasn’t about letting go; it was about accepting that event as a part of my story.
Sometimes the best way to lose a memory is to welcome it as part of your story. Acknowledging its effect on your life, owning the pain, and placing it in the proper context within your life story. Good, bad, or otherwise, the things and people that touch us are forever a part of our narrative. Perhaps by letting go and welcoming the memory, you can feel better about your past and maybe even share it with others to help them.
Everyone loves a good book right, even if it is still being written.